i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
