If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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