Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish there were birth control emojis
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
