I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I sprained my soul last night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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