I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
