I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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