I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My ATM looks so different sober.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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