We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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