Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
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Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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