whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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