Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.