it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.