I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Maybe he injected his testicle?