I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.