My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
