just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
