The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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