I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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