ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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