i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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