I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend