it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"