my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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