And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
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as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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