She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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