Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This gyro tastes like lonliness
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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