So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
