It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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