We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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