guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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