he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
