therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
