The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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