so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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