so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize