I showed him my bush... on skype.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
