Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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