Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize