Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize