You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize