...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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