he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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