Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did I show you my penis last night?
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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