My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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