Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

hey, what are you doing tonight?

(646): View more from New York

sleeping, g'night!

(801): View more from Utah

but i wanted to see you :(

(646): View more from New York

sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!

(646): View more from New York

stop - you have a right hand - use it!

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(801): hey, what are you doing tonight? (646): sleeping, g'night! (801): but i wanted to see you :( (646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you! (646): stop - you have a right hand - use it! http://tfl.nu/aj8r

Replies (10) Good night (721) Bad night (1331)
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(765): View more from Indiana

A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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(765): A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this. http://tfl.nu/a7q9

Replies (28) Good night (2096) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

when did we get a doorman?

(203): View more from Connecticut

we were also in the wrong building...

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(203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke

Replies (15) Good night (6767) Bad night (883)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.

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(304): He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect. http://tfl.nu/54k7

Replies (15) Good night (5852) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

Edward fifth and chaser hands

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(360): Edward fifth and chaser hands http://tfl.nu/2o2p

Replies (3) Good night (1461) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?

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(315): How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'? http://tfl.nu/37h8

Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

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(801): He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay. http://tfl.nu/qj10

Replies (19) Good night (1057) Bad night (1909) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.

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(508): merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash. http://tfl.nu/86x1

Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (1894) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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(202): Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay. http://tfl.nu/iy0k

Replies (10) Good night (510) Bad night (1823) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

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(217): She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell http://tfl.nu/6kpc

Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (1279) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.

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(973): Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited. http://tfl.nu/g03h

Replies (13) Good night (3653) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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(561): View more from Florida

I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!

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(561): I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE! http://tfl.nu/qqyw

Replies (6) Good night (615) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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(801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i

Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt
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(940): View more from Texas

Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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(940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za

Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (134) Order T-Shirt
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(434): View more from Virginia

I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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(434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv

Replies (7) Good night (140) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt

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