he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it