Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
