drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
