mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize