she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize