so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize