he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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