they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?