yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.