you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize